Far Out’s 10 Worst Bowie Songs
There’s something fun about naming the worst of something, maybe more so when it’s the worst of something one generally likes. Somehow, “the worst” of Bowie has been a recurring topic in recent weeks in this blog. When I came across, “Buzz the Fuzz,” I contemplated whether that was Bowie’s worst song ever (it might be), then I speculated about “Too Dizzy” (its not his worst). In doing some research, I compiled some of Bowie-chronicler Nicholas Pegg’s most condemnatory comments about what appeared to be his least favorite songs. Most recently, I ran a “best and worst song per album” series, which by definition contained commentary on some pretty bad songs.
Now Far Out, the on-line rock magazine that frequently features stories about Bowie, compiled a top, or should I say, bottom 10 list. Here’s a link to the article so you can read it.
Commenting on the commentary, I thought it was interesting to see which songs are starting to become familiar on this type of list and which are surprise entries. In the former category, “Too Dizzy,” “If I’m Dreaming My Life,” “Please Mr. Gravedigger,” “God Only Knows,” and “Shining Star.” We get the feeling that people who know and like Bowie, really do not like these songs. (I feel compelled to sheepishly point out that I actually do like, “God Only Knows,” and while acknowledging that “Too Dizzy” isn’t a great song, I think it gets an extra kick in the teeth because Bowie himself removed it from reissues of Never Let Me Down rather than because it was especially worse than some of his other lowest moments).
Far Out chooses Bowie’s collaboration with Mick Jagger, “Dancing in the Streets” as his #1 worst song ever. A highly popular song at at the time, I’ve seen it subsequently disparaged (I’m OK with it). #2 is a truly awful if obscure song from the mid-60s, “Rubber Band.” I’ll link the video— yes, there’s a video. If you want to get a sense of the difference between a truly bad song and a song that’s disappointing because it could have been better, listen to “Rubber Band” and, say, “Dancing in the Streets” or “Too Dizzy.” “Rubber Band” is actually tough to hear. It doesn’t just fall short of what it could have been, it isn’t just generic 80s (in this case, 60s) cotton candy pop— it’s bad. And not in the Michael Jackson sense of “bad.”
The remaining songs on the list are curious— Bowie’s cover of the Who’s “Anyway Anyhow Anywhere,” “China Girl,” and “The Chant of the Ever Circling Skeletal Family.” I don’t think I’ve ever seen any particularly critical commentary on the Who cover, and given Bowie’s more widely disregarded cover of “Across the Universe,” or, more controversially, “Let’s Spend the Night Together” (I dislike it though many do), “Anyway Anyhow Anywhere” is an odd choice for bottom ten. Also— the song appeared on the cover album, Pin Ups, which only included 60s songs, which kind of calls attention to Bowie’s own songs from the period— most of which were far worse than this cover (see “Rubber Band” and “Please Mr. Gravedigger”).
As for “China Girl,” it was one of Bowie’s big hits off Let’s Dance. The Far Out writer(s) seem to imply without coming out and saying it that they don’t like the song because of Bowie’s inclusion of a stereotypical Asian guitar motif (which is what the commentary might be referring to as “sound effects”). Also, while the article concedes that Let’s Dance is a “great album,” the opening sentence acknowledges that the reviewer is in on the hip-fan’s thinking (“many people”) of it, “as the beginning of Bowie’s sell-out phase.” For me, and I think its safe to say, for most fans, “China Girl” is not one of Bowie’s worst nor is it even one of the worst songs on Let’s Dance — actually, its pretty good!
As for “The Chant…”— it’s hardly a song at all. It’s almost a sound effect to close out Diamond Dogs. It’s like including that mess of sounds that occurs several seconds after what appears to be the end of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band as “one of the Beatles’ worst songs.” Shouldn’t count.
One final note that I think betrays the writers’ true fidelity to Bowie— most of the songs selected for Bowie’s worst are either covers or collaborations. Add in two songs from before anyone knew who Bowie was and, “Chant,” which is hardly a song, “Too Dizzy,” which Bowie himself excommunicated, and in a way the only song on the list that Bowie as we knew him totally owned as a song was “If I’m Dreaming My Life.” That must be a bad song. (It is).